A Rifle In A Blanket (9/16/2009)

     I’ve been thinking about something that happened when I was a teenager lately. Jon once brought out a rifle wrapped up in a blanket. He unwrapped it, gave it to me, and told me to look through the high power scope, and to feel how easy the trigger was. He then wrapped the rifle back up into the blanket…this whole time he never once touched it with his hands. Then after he has it all wrapped up he tells me that the “government” wants my finger prints on the gun; so that if I ever talk they the “government” would kill someone and frame me for it. I remember feeling the shock that the “government” would do that. And also wondering why Jon didn’t worn me of this before he handed me the rifle. I mean really, what kind of sick person does that kind of thing?! I was only a child! Why did he have to mess with my mind like that. Why did he find it so necessary to instill so much fear into me. I guess the obvious answer is…self preservation to keep me from talking. And it worked for long time. But there are plenty of sick people out there who don’t mess with people’s minds like that. You would be shocked to hear all the lies that Jon has told me. One of the biggest areas of shame for me is the brain washing that Jon did to me. I am a shamed that I believed all his lies. That even though I knew that he lied to everyone I thought that surely he would never lie to me…I’m family and you don’t lie to family. You don’t betray family like that! You don’t do to people what Jon did to me!

Published byLeah K.

Proud Wife, Stay-at-Home Mother of 3, a Christian (No, I'm not perfect. Yes, I make plenty of mistakes...that's why I need Christ in my life), abuse survivor, owner of an etsy store (Flairicity), and blogger.

2 Comments

  • Susan5915

    July 13, 2010 at 3:56 am Reply

    You reap what you soe. That is Biblical. Unless, he (Jon) comes to a point of truth and repents. He will find no true peace ever.

    (PRAYER) for my friend and Sister in Christ.

    Thank you Lord for my Sister Leah. You are truely a amazing Godly women. Thank you Father for giving her strength to endure all she has through her childhood. Thank you that she has managed to come through her experiences a sain and strong standing christian Soldier for you Father. I love you with all my heart girl. I love you Father. May God Bless you Leah and your Husband and Children.
    In Jesus name I pray.
    Amen!

  • Leah K.

    July 13, 2010 at 12:19 pm Reply

    Thank you so much Susan!!! You have been such an awesome friend to me; one of the few people in my life who I could truly count on to be there for me, and a true mentor in Christ. May God not only bless you and your family, but rain down blessings and favor upon you and your family.

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