So often I find myself looking for that light switch that will cause everything make sense. If I could just understand the intricacies of how this one thing works it will all make sense. I think that same thought over and over for each aspect of healing. It’s been a long hard road in part because I feel driven to understand all the intricacies of how my mind processes what I’ve been through, and why people do the things they do. Understanding is good and we need to understand how things have affected us, but sometimes we don’t need to understand all the ins-and-outs. Sometimes the answer is “just because” and there is nothing else to it. That’s frustrating, I know.
So often I have wanted to come to you and say “Here’s the switch that will change everything”. Flipping a light switch is so easy. We just flip that switch and the light comes on. Healing, I have found, is not as easy as flipping a light switch. It takes time, patience, giving ourselves grace for not always getting it right, and forgiveness towards ourselves and others. It’s more like watching a bucket fill with water one drip at a time. The changes come; just sometimes slowly. So, give yourself grace, do lots of self-care, and watch your bucket fill up.
I know this blog isn’t glamorous, suspenseful, or even all that interesting at times (or at all for some). However, healing often isn’t any of those things. It can be boring, dreary, painfully slow, and has a real lack of fireworks going off every time we make a new stride in healing. There are times of great excitement though. That new break-through can be exciting and exhilarating to us, but to no one else. Because only we know how hard we have worked for that break-through and how great it feels to have finally reached it. It is my continued hope that even in the mundane of my healing and of what I share, you are able to connect and see you are not alone in your struggles.