Welcome to Part 4 on my series on Healing.
Motives. Examine yourself, and be mindful of your motives. If you are talking about something that is painful because you feel that people should know how that person or situation has wronged you, then you are opening up the door for bitterness and resentment to take hold. Over time that bitterness and resentment will grow; the resulting negativity and anger will spill into other areas of your life slowly poisoning the joy you have. You will start to notice that your relationships with others will suffer as well because people in general can only handle so much negativity. This is why I have said, “When talking becomes just another way to not only keep reliving the pain, hurt and bitterness, but to keep it alive, then it’s time to stop talking about it“. Bitterness and anger feed off of our emotions when we relive it. So then, by refusing to relive the offense by talking about it you start to starve those emotions. As the bitterness and anger die off you will be able to begin to heal.
I’ve been there…hurt very deeply by someone whom I love tremendously. I noticed when talking about the offense I only felt the hurt grow deeper. So, I made a choice to stop talking about it because talking was not aiding in my ability to heal from the offense. It took some time for the healing to take place. Once I stopped talking about it the hurt was no longer being feed, and I was able to better work on my thoughts and feelings to get to a place where healing could take place. Even though this person apologized and did their best to show they were sorry the hurt lingered on for a while. I now feel as though I have been able to move beyond the hurt to a place of peace and forgiveness. This is not to say that the situation wasn’t hurtful or can’t still produce that hurt I was feeling because it still could…I’ve just chosen to move beyond the hurt.
On my next posting I’ll be sharing some final thoughts on this series on Healing. I hope you’ll join me.