Last night was kinda rough for me. While I was getting my girls ready for bed…I had one not wanting to lay still so that I could change her diaper & then my oldest bent over to whisper in my ear to tell me what the baby had just done while I was trying to change the diaper. This set off a big trigger for me, and I don’t even know why it is a trigger for me…I don’t understand it. When our oldest whispers in my ear I INSTANTLY want to be in a space bubble with no one around me, no one touching me, and my irritation level goes through the roof. I started getting very short with her, and I could see in her face that she was getting upset with me as well.
When I got to bed and lay down I started crying. What had she done to warrant me being so short with her? The answer…NOTHING!!!! She didn’t deserve for me to be like that with her. Her actions were completely innocent, and she had no knowledge nor intention of setting off a trigger. I felt horrible, and was very upset with myself for not being able to control my reaction to that trigger. I’m going to try to do better the next time.