I’d like to talk about standing in the gap for others. Sometimes when we are dealing with someone who is unhealthy, who plays an important roll in our lives, whether we want to keep them in our lives or not, forgiveness just doesn’t seem to be enough. Sometimes it feels like every time we have to deal with that person we are hurt. I know that I have felt that way about my mom. At times I would feel so discouraged because it seemed like when she was around others she can be “normal”, but around me all I would get is her dysfunction. I felt like I was her emotional dumping ground. I think that in situations like this it’s important to keep bitterness from getting a hold of us. Bitterness like unforgiveness is destructive in our lives because it affects the way we perceive people and treat them.
I think some times in situations where we are constantly hurt by the same person(s), saying “I forgive” may not be enough to keep bitterness from taking root, and that we need to take it a step farther by praying for them. I know how hard that can be. I’ll be the first to admit that my prayer life is lacking, and I find it difficult to set time aside to pray one on one with God. I do, however, talk to God as I go about my daily business. I believe in the power of prayer. As a Christian I’ve been taught that its good to pray for others; especially those who have hurt or wronged me. That in fact one of the best things that I can do for someone is to pray for them. Now, I can tell you that I know very little about standing in the gap and praying for others, but I do believe that it’s the best way to keep bitterness and unforgiveness from taking root in our hearts. I’m not talking about just throwing up some prayer that says, “Oh, God! Help them!” or “Oh, God! You better get a hold of them!”. I’m talking about some serious prayer on their behalf. Now standing in the gap isn’t just for those who have hurt or wronged us; it is also for friends and family members who are going through a difficult time….for anyone.
Ephesians 6:12-18 (King James Version)
“12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—”
As Ephesians 6:12 has pointed out…there can be a spiritual aspect or drive behind what people say and do. It is my belief that we sometimes have to address and deal with the spiritual aspect of that in prayer. To do spiritual warfare on their behalf. To go to God in prayer and ask that the assignments of the enemy be canceled; that he send his angels to do battle on their behalf. To declare victory in the name of Jesus. There is a very real enemy of our soul…the devil. The Bible says that he seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. Standing in the gap and praying for someone can feel like your taking back control. I know, for me at least, I felt like I was taking back control in a situation where I had previously felt a lack of control. When I started praying “My Declaration” (which I will re-post at the end) that is exactly how I felt. The situation with my mom felt out of control in many aspects. I cannot control her…what she says and does, and I sure didn’t feel like I could control my feelings towards her. When I started praying for her…for God’s restorative power in her life…I felt like I was taking back / gaining back control of my relationship with her. I also felt more in control of my feelings towards her. I felt a weight lifted off of me. I felt at peace. A peace that has stayed.
I don’t think standing in the gap in prayer for someone is all about asking God to change them. I think it’s more about asking God to blesses them. To draw them closer to God. Praying the enemy doesn’t succeed in their life. Asking God to help them overcome any issues or difficulties they may have in their lives. Especially the issues or difficulties they have which hinder you from having a good relationship with that person. I encourage you to stand in the gap for someone.
Here is “My Declaration
” (as posted before) as an example of how I’ve been standing in the gap for my mom. I have put the words in bold that I would like to draw your attention to as the parts that I feel are the areas where I was standing in the gap for her.
I speak to the Spiritual and Heavenly realms in the name of Jesus. I declare forgiveness be applied towards my mom and in my life. I free her of my anger, hurt, feelings of blame and of betrayal, and of my judgments. I ask you Father God to forgive me for my unforgiveness, judgments, and scoring. I ask that you release me from my judgments. I declare healing over both of our lives. I speak love, life, healing, happiness, and forgiveness over my mom’s life. I declare now in the name of Jesus that she is able to forgive just as she has been forgiven. That she is set free from her anxiety, fears, and traumas; that the power they hold over her life be broken. That her spiritual senses be reawakened so that she can hear you, Lord, calling her back to, you, her first love. That she will be able to feel worthy of your forgiveness, and be able to accept the forgiveness that you have paid such a high price for. That she starts to walk in the destiny that you have prepared for her. Again, I speak forgiveness and healing over my mom and myself. I choose to honor her for giving me life. I speak to my feelings of anger, hurt, blame, betrayal, and to my judgments. I thank you for helping me to protect myself, but I break agreement with you now in the name of Jesus. I will choose forgiveness because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I bless myself to receive the power of the Holy Spirit to govern my thoughts, words and actions. I declare that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the likeness of Jesus and that His love flows through me. I speak to my Spirit and I say receive all the blessing of Jesus that He has purposefully designed for you today. I speak to my body and I say receive health today and nourishment and be well and strong and receive every blessing that flows from the cross where Jesus died and paid for you. Finally, I speak to my heart and say You are loved by Jesus and accepted by Jesus so rejoice! I declare these things in Jesus name. Amen.