Do you blame God for the hurt in your life? Here are some things to consider.
In the book, Freedom Tools: for Overcoming Life’s Tough Problems author Andy Reese quotes a radio interview of William Sloan Coffin by Terry Goss from the radio program Fresh Air, WHYY Radio on April 14, 2006. William Sloan Coffin had this to say when talking about the tragic death of his son who died in a car accident:
“People have some very goofy ideas about how the will of God operates–‘I guess it was the will of God…’—as if it is the will of God that anybody gets blown up, that anybody gets shot. God was not behind the wheel–my son was. God’s heart was the first of all hearts to break. God was not in the event. He was in the response to the event.
What is hard for people is that we really do have free will. You have to have freedom if love is to be the name of the game. And if we have free will we are free to do both good and bad things–free to kill, free to love. To blame God for what people do with their freedom is not fair except in the same way that you would blame an adult if you saw a child smash an expensive watch. It is your fault for giving the child the watch in the first place. Now you can blame God for giving us human freedom. Maybe we’re not ready for it, maybe we can’t handle it.”
I really like this quote because it so beautifully explains what I believe. There are so many hurting people who blame God for the hurt in their lives. Events in our lives that leave us asking the question…why?…for which there is no answer. And sometimes we feel that it was God’s responsibility to step in and to stop the painful event from happening.
This is what I’ve been taught…God is the perfect gentlemen. God will never make us do anything that we don’t want to do. God will not make us love him, serve him, or keep his commandments. God freely loves us, and wants us to freely love him in return. Which is why he gave us free will, and with this free will we have the freedom to choose what to do with it. We can choose to either harm others, or to do good to others. We can choose to curse or to bless others. We can choose to hate or to love. Our fee will empowers us to make choices. Which means that others can use their free will to either choose to do good to us or to do evil upon us. It is not God who makes the choice for us or for others as to what we will do with our free will. Our actions are our responsibility; just as the actions of others are their responsibility.
I am not totally innocent when it comes to this. I have fallen for the lie of the enemy. In my own situation I knew that God did not forsake me in the sexual abuse that I went through, but I didn’t know exactly what it was that he was doing. I assumed that he was there somewhere in that situation, but didn’t know where. So I believed the lie that God was just standing around doing nothing while I was being sexually abused. Then one day I went with one of my aunts to meet a friend of hers. They sat with me and talked to me, and together we did a lot of praying. We asked God to show me truth, and to heal the broken places. The vision that God gave me is priceless, and healing to my soul. I saw Jesus standing next to Jon, my abuser, and he had his hands on Jon’s shoulders and was trying to pull Jon off of me. God was there!! He was convicting Jon of his actions, but Jon chose to ignore the voice of God telling him to stop. I cannot blame God for the choices that Jon made, and I can no longer believe that God was just passively standing by and letting it happen. When no one around me knew what was going on, God was there with a broken heart. I know that God’s heart broke every time Jon touched me, and spoke such horrible lies to me. When there was no one to fight for me, God was there fighting for me.
Now some of you may look at that last statement that I just made, and think that God didn’t do such a good job of fighting for me. Well, you would be wrong because God did a great job of protecting me. God did what only God could do…because of all the brain washing that Jon put me through I could be in much worse shape than I am. God did a great job at protecting my mind from being extremely messed up from all that Jon said and did to me. I truly feel that it is by the grace of God that I am able to function. God has brought so much healing to my life, and I would not have been able to make it this far in my healing journey if it weren’t for the love, grace, mercy, and healing power of an Almighty God. And not only that, but God allowed me to see justice served in my life time…Jon was found guilty of two counts of sexual assault against a child. On one count Jon was sentenced to two years in prison, and on the second count Jon received ten years probation.
So, do I blame God for what happened to me…no. Jon is the only one who holds ALL the responsibility for what happened. For Jon chose to use his free will for evil against me. What Jon meant for harm and evil against me God will turn it around and use it to bring about good in my life. God was not in the evil and sinful actions that Jon did, but God was in the response to those actions. Jon chose to ignore God telling him to stop, and Jon will have to reap the consequences of those actions.
I know that it can be natural to blame God for things that happen to us that we don’t understand. My hope is that you are able to come to a place where you can stop blaming God or being angry with God for something someone else did. That you are able to seek God; to ask him to show you what lies you are believing and to replace the lies with truth. To find healing and freedom in the truth…I have.