I have always been afraid of God truly seeing me. I have viewed myself as being so broken in spirit to where all I felt was shame over it. I’ve been embarrassed for God to see how broken I am; for God to see me in the way that I saw myself. I figured the way I saw myself was truth. A shameful truth of who I really was; too shameful to show anyone let alone God. I would cry from a place so deep within myself anytime I felt as though God was looking at all my shameful brokenness. The feeling of being so unworthy for God to even consider me, was overwhelming.
I am finally starting to realize when God looks at me He sees beyond all the lies, beyond all the shameful brokenness I have taken on as my identity. He sees the toll it has taken on me. He knows how those lies have created a painful false identity within myself. He knows I do not desire to be that person who is governed and defined by those lies, but to instead replace lies with real truth.
For the first time I know, He sees me.
He sees through the lies I was coned into believing about myself and sees me. The me where I’m a blank slate full of possibilities. The me that exists when all the lies are swept away. He sees me as an innocent sinless me (as a parent looking at their new born baby).
He sees ME…not the me I see. He does not see me as the lies I see myself as (the lies I was coned into believing about myself); He sees through those to the me that exists far within myself (the part of me He created for me to be). He sees the me who exists where truth and healing overcome all the lies and hurt.
How comforting it is to know how He sees me.