Here is a little bit about my story. I was about 15 when it started and it lasted for about a year and a half to two years. My abuser was my step-dad, Jon, he is extremely manipulative and very good at mind games. He took my young impressionable mind and my trustworthiness, and brainwashed me into believing some outrageous things. Part of which was that an ex-step-mom of mine, who worked on projects that she wasn’t allowed to talk about, had enrolled me into a government program. I was young and I didn’t think that he would lie to me in the way that he was, and for the most part I took his word for it. I knew that he was a liar because I saw him lie to everyone around him, but I never thought that he would lie to me in the way that he did…I was family and YOU DON’T LIE TO FAMILY! Through counseling I have come to understand that what was happening to me was too much for me to handle; so believing the lie was easier than facing the truth about what was really going on.
During this time my mom was suicidal, and Jon had told me that the government was messing with her medication and that as long as I did what I was told that when they were done they would leave her alone and stop messing with her medicine. Jon also told me that the government would be watching me for the rest of my life, and that the house was bugged. That if I ever told anyone about the “program” that the government would kill members of my family and make it look like an accident, and that they would even frame me for murder. I also faced being abducted if I refused to do what I was told right at that moment. I became increasingly afraid of the dark, and was having a very hard time sleeping. For about a year I slept with a light on in my room. As you can imagine life was difficult to say the least. Not only did I have to deal with what Jon was doing, but everyone expected me to be able to bring my mom out of her depression. I was told that if I did this or that, that it could help bring her out of her depression; and so I tried to no avail. I was the family councilor, and confidant to both Jon and my mom. I was a CHILD with ADULT responsibilities.
On December 26, 2002 I went to the police station to file charges against Jon. My case didn’t make it to court until August 2007. So, five years and five Assistant District Attorneys later my case made it to court. When people say that going to court is like being victimized all over again they aren’t kidding. Going to court has been one of the most difficult things that I have ever done, and I would do it all over again in a heart beat if it meant that even just one person would be spared from having to go through what I have been through. Jon was charged with two counts of sexual assault of a child. It took the jury 14 hours to come back with a verdict. On the first count Jon got two years prison time, and on the second count he got ten years probation which he just started in January 2010. Jon has never admitted to what he has done. Jon filed for an appeal two times which is the maximum that he could file for. It took two years and four months for those appeals to work their way through the system. Both times the guilty verdicts were kept in place, and Jon was NOT granted a new trial.
If the things that I share about my healing journey apply to no one else in this world it applies to me. This is about my healing journey and the things that I’m learning along the way.