I don’t know when admitting we’re “only human” became such a dirty word or idea. We are only human after all. We have born within us limits of what we can and cannot take. This doesn’t make us a bad person or even a flawed one. It just makes us…human. This does not mean we have a lack of compassion towards others. Just simply, admitting we’re human and only capable of so much…as we all are.
I’m a better wife, a better mother, and a better person when I am not stressed out. My family deserves the very best of me, and I can’t give them that if I am stressed out over someone who is exhibiting unhealthy behavior towards me on a continuous bases. This is why healthy boundaries are so important to me. I try my best to set boundaries in the nicest way I can…I’m not out to be mean or to hurt to anyone. I’m not trying to claim I’m perfect or even good at this. I do know I need to let go of how others are operating, and focus on what I do have control over…my boundaries. Setting boundaries is difficult for me because I don’t like confrontation. I have to remind myself that I am worth it. I am worth the discomfort of confrontation if it will bring more peace and less stress to my life. I need to remember that boundaries are there to protect me: to protect my peace of mind, to guard my heart, and to help keep my anxiety and stress levels down. All these things I deserve to have in my life.
For years I was angry at my mom for drilling in me “break the cycle”, “WE are going to break the cycle”, and then not doing enough on her part to actually break the cycle…as I saw it in my own eyes. To me she wasn’t fighting hard enough, not making enough progress in her own healing to even entertain the thought of her “breaking the cycle”. All I saw was her repeating the “cycle”, and me being on the receiving end of it. At the time I couldn’t recognize how she was trying her hardest to be healthy. I have learned I don’t need to worry about how, or even if, a person is working on becoming healthy. I just need to make sure I set healthy boundaries for me and my life; then stick to it.
It’s been a difficult road for the two of us. I’m glad to say our relationship is in a much better and healthier place now. We are cultivating and maintaining healthy boundaries as best we can at this time. I’m grateful to her for instilling in me a fighting spirit to make sure generational curses and dysfunction are eliminated from my life. As I gain strength in “Breaking the Cycles”, I am able to set forth a living healthy example for my children. I couldn’t ask for anything better than that.
So yes, I am only human and can only give so much of myself before I start to lose myself. I refuse to look upon it as meaning I am something less that who and what I am. It does not make me weak but strong! Second Corinthians 12:9,10, “And he said unto me, ‘My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness’. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distress for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong”. So then, if being “human” is a weakness, it is also my strength. For in this weakness God’s strength is made perfect in me. He provides my strength. I am breaking cycles and that, my friends, makes me more than a conqueror.